Because it's in the air.

[fantasticmuse]

I really hate doing this. I hate inflicting my opinion on people who I can't see face to face.

I know a lot of people like the internet because of the anonymity of it, but I'd much rather deal with people in person, I feel more confident then. I can never tell what's a joke and what's just being mean online. I saw something once where someone suggested there be an official sarcasm font. That's not a half bad idea.

Anyway.

I'm seeing a lot of conflicting opinions right now. And I feel like I have to say something and I have no idea how to.

There's so many bad things happening right now. The prisoner abuse in Iraq, the video-taped beheading of an American soldier. And people everywhere saying things like: "Yeah, the abuse was bad, but we've had worse done to us!"

Now, I think the last statement is definitely true. But I also think saying things like that is stupid. It's childish- like saying "they started it!"

Yes, yes they did. But that's not an excuse for our actions. I just... I'm not sure what to say, exactly. Only that hearing this over and over is really getting to me. I feel like it's not going to change anything and probably just brings bad karma back on those who say that.

I guess the point is that no one seems to be understanding that everyone is at fault. Everyone has done horrible things. It's not about American and not American, it's not about a war half a world away. It's about every single one of us, being afraid of what is happening.

I'm afraid. It makes me scared to see people in this squabble. A boy who went to my college was just recently killed. My uncle just came back from Iraq, he's leaving again in a week. It about killed me when I had to watch my grandparents tell us that news.

More and more of us are being affected. And we're acting like children. All of us, both sides. We're children with knives and bombs and a cruel sense of humor.

I'm young. I'm only 18 years old. I haven't been alive two decades yet. And I've never lived through a war, or at least one I could remember. Desert Storm took place when I was five. I remember seeing pictures of men in the sand on T.V., and that's about it.

Is it always like this? I don't know, and the adults around me don't seem to have any answers either.

I'm young and I'm scared, for my countrymen across the ocean, for the people they come in contact with. For myself, as civil liberties are beginning to be written out of the constitution. And at the same time, I'm acutely aware that this is just a moment in time, a blip in thousands of years of history.

I'm young, and I don't know what to do. So I'm going to go to the movies and watch Hugh Jackman look hot and Tina Fey be funny. I'm going to listen to sugar pop music and read for enjoyment. I'm young and there's nothing else to do.

I've tried hard to have strong opinions and become knowledgeable about politics. I really have. But everything's being ripped in a hundred different directions now. And maybe I'm being melodramatic. And maybe I'm being young, too young to understand. I just don't know anymore.